Loved Beyond Measure

Esther and Ahasuerus - embroidered picture, British, mid-17th century. Wikimedia Commons.

Did you notice that I've been quiet? It's okay if you didn't. The message was building, but the time wasn't right to deliver it. It's taken this long for Brett and me to gain this perspective and then vocalize it to one another. Just a little longer to communicate it to you. What will you do with it?

Back in 2020, when Brett and I were having ongoing conflict in our marriage, he encouraged me to blog about our struggles. He had the faith to believe that we would come out on the other side of it stronger because of our deep, mutual relationship with Jesus, and he hoped that our testimony would be able to help others who are struggling. I stopped blogging because after things were resolved between us, I went back to my former busy-ness, and if I had anything to say, it didn't feel urgent enough to make myself sit down and say it. I have no idea if anyone else has been helped by our aired laundry, but we are in a decidedly different place now, and I feel compelled to share how and why.

I want to highlight the changes that took place in my perspective that precipitated and facilitated the outward changes that came about. The first thing I processed differently, which wasn't directly related to our marriage, was a deep, abiding awareness of my identity as a child of God. My adoption was not a new development. That transaction occurred in 1993, when His grace moved on my heart to surrender my life to Jesus Christ, and my head knowledge of the principles involved was fairly solid. This is spelled out for us in the first chapter of Ephesians:

"In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved" (Eph 1:4–6, ESV).

Glory to God!

It was in the midst of a cry for God's mercy on me for failing Him for the 18 billionth time that I saw myself as a child of the King of all Creation. That makes me a princess. Not a fairy tale princess; a legitimate heir who is loved beyond all measure by the one, true, sovereign King. The revelation of the limitless love of my perfect Father toward me, His little child, unlocked my value and self-worth. I realized that I was dependent on no one but Him for the blessings in my life. So, any good that came to me was just the means through which He was blessing me, in order to show me something wonderful about Himself.

With my newfound royalty I, the princess, began to model myself after biblical Queen Esther. I was not alone in this; it was a wave sweeping many Christian women into a new dimension of ministry over the past year or two. Were you in on it? I have no idea whether my Esther experience has been unique, and the analogy has some serious limitations (I don't need to list them, do I?), but one of the ways this anointing has manifested in my life is that I have felt compelled to minister to my husband as though he were a king. And I am no lowly slave, friend. Remember, I'm royalty too! And with this paradigm shift, every intimate interaction has become a royal endeavor. There is nothing menial or degrading about being the one chosen to fulfill the king's desires; I am the only person in the world who has this privilege, and I am his ideal partner because God designed me for him. Perfect.

Now, before you dismiss my rhapsody of words as delusions of grandeur, this acknowledgement of my identity has given me insight into the relationship between Christ and the Church. It is our highest privilege to fulfill such a noble calling, both individually and corporately. Our yieldedness to God is the very means by which our purpose for living is fulfilled. What else would we rather be doing?

Of course, in the interest of transparency, yes, Brett and I still get annoyed with each other, but less frequently and less vehemently. I think he's too critical; he thinks I'm too defensive. Still. But we're both quicker to pour grace into the mix, and as the petty flaws recede into the background, the profound beauty of the tapestry prevails. We were created to complete each other, at least in this season of our lives, and it is through this ministry to one another that God opens doors for ministry to the world.

Friend, you are that ministry. And if you're rightly related to Jesus, you too are loved beyond measure by the King of all Creation.

P.S. Having Googled "Loved beyond measure," wondering if someone would think I stole their tagline, I discovered a website that features heart bracelets intended to remind the wearer how much God loves them. I am not affiliated with this person in any way, but I thought I'd share: https://lovedbeyondmeasuretx.com/